Tears and then Yoga

I’m still on my 60 Day Challenge, but I had a little time off.  I took a total of 3 days off (two in a row, back on for one, then one more off) over this past week.  I did a double today to start trying to catch back up.  I’m not terribly worried about it, as I’ve got plenty of time to complete.  I’ve done 21 classes now in 23 days. 

I just wasn’t quite up for the effort of taking my yoga seriously this past week.  I was crying a lot, and chanting a lot, crying a bit more, then meditating a bit more.  I came to some interesting (to me) realizations about myself, as is usually the case when these episodes happen.  Every spiritual crisis leads to further understanding about one’s self, as well as one’s Self.  But I just couldn’t quite bring myself to commit myself fully to the physical practice of yoga. 

And, not at all ironically, once I’d reached a realization or two, miraculously my yoga practice was back on track today.  Last week, I felt like I was working backwards, losing strength & flexibility that had taken months to gain, and experiencing pain in nearly every part of my body.  By yesterday, most of my physical aches were gone (except for the hips, which are sore sore sore, not unexpectedly, from their slow but steady realignment, and as uncomfortable as it is, I know it’s a Good Thing – and the shoulders, which are the very TIGHT bane of my yogic existence, and which hopefully one day will actually release).  But all the other pain, head to toe, in nearly every joint, had cleared. 

Yes, we do store emotions in our bodies, don’t we?

Why oh why did I sign up for the challenge?

I’m sure everyone on a 60 Day Challenge (or more) eventually asks this question. 

This past several days it’s been nothing but frustration and disappointment.  I’m going backwards.  Less flexible, less strong, less balanced, more pain.  As with my last challenge, I’m discovering soreness in places than never hurt before; worse, though, is that pain I thought I’d moved past has returned for an extended visit.  I’m definitely taking Friday off, even though it means another double down the road.  I don’t care, I think my body wants a day off.  But there’s still tomorrow to work through.

What I want to believe is that it’s always darkest before the dawn:  that feeling like I’m going backwards is just a sign that my body is shifting into a new phase, that I’m going to walk into class one day soon to discover that something in my practice has just blossomed overnight, and that all this frustration was in preparation for something.

A girl can dream …

You are a Soul.

“You don’t have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.” – C. S. Lewis

60 Day Challenge

I committed to a 60 Day Challenge at my home Bikram Yoga studio (Bikram Yoga Elk Grove). 

I waited until the last possible minute to sign up for this Challenge (the studio is sponsoring the challenge, which means there’s a semi-official start date, and many of the students are doing the Challenge at the same time, thus creating a supportive environment for a daily commitment to a life-changing yoga practice), ’cause I wasn’t sure I wanted to do another one so soon, but I guess I do - and I started earlier than most folks (September 1st).

Anyway, just finished class #8 (only 52 more to go!  but it’s better not to look at it that way.).  Just barely a week in, and I’m experiencing ‘first week soreness’.  Which is strange, because it’s not like I’m back for the first week in a long time, or in my very first week of classes.  I’ve been practicing nearly every day for months.  Is it the mental ‘challenge’ attached to the commitment to an official ‘Challenge’ creating this?

social networking

I’m on MySpace:  anahatapadma & Livejournal:  mokshya.

Don’t ask me why.