That’s Worst Class Ever.
Today (yesterday by the time this posts) was possibly the most difficult class I’ve ever had. When I went into the room it felt … hot. Normally, I don’t mind the heat, don’t feel it intensely, but this time I really really … felt it. My blood sugar level was fine as far as I could tell, and I was hydrated. I made it through the Standing Series, not beautifully, not gracefully, but I made it through. I had to sit out a few seconds in a couple of postures, but that was it. But I felt vaguely uncomfortable and anxious throughout. Then came the Floor Series, and whammo. I began to panic a little. I recognized it as panic and tried to talk myself down. But I only made it as far as Cobra before I just couldn’t do it anymore. I lay on my stomach, buried my face in my towel and cried my way through the rest of the back strengthening series before leaving the class. I showered, and when the class was over I got my mat and went home.
I didn’t want to go today. I was anxious about it, after yesterday’s tears. But I took strength from the standard Bikram Yoga adage that if you really don’t want to go to class, that’s when you really need to.
I really really don’t want to go tomorrow. It would be very easy to take tomorrow off. And the day after that. And after that.
